SHOULD be the time of great passions and ‘endless’ love. Yet, more and more scientific and expert studies indicate that young people today appear less interested in sexuality than their parents. There are those who think about studying, others about sports, music or a personal interest and the search for a boyfriend or girlfriend seems to have become a secondary topic. You can also live well without it. Yet, the images of the web bring sexuality into the lives of young people more and more precociously.
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Maybe young people don’t want to grow up? Do they postpone more and more the first time? “Some seem to want to remain children. The ways of meeting and getting to know have changed, until a few decades ago sexuality was an important stage for autonomy and for taking the right distance from the parenting world. Today technology has changed the habits of children. , we meet and flirt via chat for the sexual encounter there will be time “, explains Roberta Rossi, sexologist and psychotherapist at the Institute of Clinical Sexology.
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At what age does the first sexual intercourse take place?
“The latest available data tell us that the average age of first sexual intercourse is around 17, we do not know if once initiated into penetrative sexuality it continues or not”.
Today there is a precociation of some sexual behaviors on social networks. Very young kids in ambiguous attitudes. Is the impression that you are going from one extreme to the other?
“The tendency is to consider the adolescent phase as an equal period for everyone. This is a mistake because each person has his own development, his own history, lives in different family and social contexts and all this influences the way of living this phase and the discovery of sexuality. So we will have withdrawn adolescents, others who expose themselves to the most varied experiences, still others with behaviors more suited to the context in which they live, all following their own personal path that is difficult to bring together in a single vision “.
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Why are guys afraid of sexuality?
“Some guys fear not only the first sexual intercourse, but also the first kiss. For some of them it is a matter of time and in person, we also think that we are going through a very delicate period from this point of view, where the fear of contact and proximity has increased social phobias and more. The recommendations go precisely in the direction of avoiding the kiss, the primary vehicle for the transmission of Covid, with the exchange of saliva that it presupposes. So what could we expect our children to take? ” .
Is the first time synonymous with full relationship?
“Generally we tend to think of it as a first penetrative relationship, but it also depends on where and with whom it is shared, often the meaning of the first time is entrusted to an emotional bond, perhaps leaving out an experience previously had without too much involvement. experience and the meaning that each of us attributes to this first time “.
How to prepare for the first time?
“Even the best of preparations risks clashing with reality. Things happen and we experience sensations that can hardly be imagined if they have not been experienced before, the important thing is that this moment is accompanied by the desire to live it, by the awareness of living it. in a safe way (always prophylactically) and not to be in a hurry. Slowness allows you to discover and get to know each other better “.
It is well known that boys care about being up to the task, is this the same for girls?
“There is performance anxiety and then the dimensions are in everyone’s head, the anecdotal is full of ideas of this type and unfortunately this idea creates many difficulties in the boy, who risks thinking of his own dimensions as the only index of personal and partner sexual well-being. The girls follow in the same vein. We should think of sexuality as a cake made of different ingredients that mixed together make the final product, the cake, and in this the playful aspect also helps a lot: let’s learn playing with bodies, we do not follow fixed patterns and we identify our desires and curiosities. Only in this way will we learn to recognize the path of pleasure, a very personal path that no one will be able to show us from outside “.
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